Finding out you have Bipolar​

The diagnosis of bipolar was some of the best news I have heard in a long time. It completely made sense to my recent actions and rapid changes in my mood. It was only when I started to get sober, while in rehab I noticed something with my moods. I would be so happy for a few days, then so depressed and just sleeping all day, which was not allowed so I would try to have my roommate look out for me, when counselors were around campus. I got caught about a week later for not socializing and just sleeping. I got caught many times after that, and it got to the point where my consular would knock on my room door, and just walk in just to make sure I wasn’t sleeping. Beyond annoyed, angry and not knowing what was going on with me, I exploded on my consular, who just kept telling me “I was an addict, that is why I was having these mood changes,” I knew that was completely wrong, and that comes to be proven correct by my amazing doctor. Dr. Matt.

Dr. Matt is unlike any medical doctor today, his unconventional medical training has led him to be the best of the best. He has obtained an undergrad in psychology and became board-certified medical psychology and psychopharmacology. Having him as my primary doctor is nothing short of a blessing and miracle.
It was appointment day, I was so nervous and shaking, I did not know what to expect, I really didn’t know what was going on with me mentally, but I was losing it, I wasn’t me anymore. Dr. Matt and I talked, I told him everything my alcohol use, my traumas, he met my mom and girlfriend. The family is very important when dealing with and recovering from a mental illness. After talking for while he decided to give me a personality test, this took about 90 mins and was about 300 questions long. I was skeptical about this test, what could it tell me that I haven’t already been told. A few days later the results were in Bi-polar type 1. Shocked, Happy, and relieve, I was on the way to getting better, but not before it gets worse, and depression kicks in. The next few months, were dark and strange, only having the energy to sleep, and sleep and sleep. Sleep seemed to be my safe place

The first thirty days of my diagnosis, and on my new medications, an anti-anxiety, depression, and a mood stabilizer, nothing short of crazy. I was not yet in tune with my body, one manic day, I got the dumb idea to start drinking as I usually do then, All of a sudden  I wanted to go shopping since I lived five mins from a great outlet mall. This time was different, I got arrested for shoplifting, and even ran from the cops, something I couldn’t even think of doing today. Waiting for these medications to become built up in my system, was too long to keep me safe. I started to think being Bi-polar was going to lead me to a life of crime, something I was far from use too. As time went on, the medications started to work. My mind became clearer, and my heart didn’t crave as much thrill, positive or negative as it did before. I started to see the benefits of having bipolar, such as having endless creative energy.
To this day I have learned and practiced listening to my body, to know when I have had enough mentally and physically. To know when all I need to do is sleep, to understand when I can not handle being around other people, including my best friends, and parents.

To this day, I am seen by him monthly for medical check up’s an in-depth, conversations talk about my moods and overall well being. He has put me in weekly therapy, and monthly trauma therapy. The main reason why I love having Dr. Matt is that he doesn’t believe in just trying all different medication combinations, constantly switching dosages, and so on. He believes in lifestyle changes, a schedule, art therapy, and daily exercise.

For those with a mental illness, I can not stress enough how important it is to get help, in any form speak up, this is not something we can be silent about. Going to a weekly Bipolar group has also helped me greatly, it allows me to hear other people’s struggles, and learn from and support them. Take baby steps, face each challenge as it presents itself, and do not let feelings build up.

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: No portion of this may be shared without my written permission and used as your own.

Published by

bipolarbree1

Hello, I'm Bree. I am a young adult who suffers from Bi-polar, Anxiety, PTSD and now Fibromyalgia. I am here to share my story, help and inspire others. Don't be shy, let's talk about mental health ​because it can never be talked about too much. Please Follow me on twitter @bipolarbree1 Interest: bipolarbree Business writing inquiries, and featured blogger- Bipolarbree1@gmail.com

15 thoughts on “Finding out you have Bipolar​”

  1. Thank you for sharing! Your words give hope to many people. I am also glad that you could see your diagnosis as a good thing. Getting diagnosed was one of the scariest days of my life. It’s so true that with medication, therapy, and a healthy lifestyle and good coping skills and a support system can make recovery not only possible but a beautiful experience! I wish you much luck on your journey!

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  2. Thank you for writing this post. I have been diagnosed with BPD but I show bipolar sysmtpoms. The ordeal of getting daignosed it expensive and lengthly for our health service. I attempted to go to a private doctor to diagnose me. I am on Bipolar medication which surenly must show them there is something more. At least now you have the answers you can focus on recovering. All the best to you, Amy Belle.

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    1. You are you welcome. Borderline Personality and Bi-polar disorder weather it is one or two, present cross over symptoms. This makes it so hard to have a correct diagnosis, but in time the right diagnosis will arise.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It really is so tough you have hit the nail on the head there! It is strange because they normally don’t treat borderline with any medication. Anyway hope you are well. Amy Belle

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello.
    Pleasure to meet you and thank you for taking the time to visit my blog page and having a follow, I appreciate the support and look forward to reading more of your blog post.
    I thought you did a good job discussing bi-polar and sharing your own experiences with it, not easy to come to terms with but you own up to it and do what you can to make the best of it.

    Shay-lon

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    1. Hello, Thank you so much for your feedback, It is always welcomed. It has taken me a lot of pain, and lessons. I try to take away a lesson or something from each event I am faced with. Please share with others who may be suffering also!

      Liked by 1 person

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