Finding out you have Bipolar​

The diagnosis of bipolar was some of the best news I have heard in a long time. It completely made sense to my recent actions and rapid changes in my mood. It was only when I started to get sober, while in rehab I noticed something with my moods. I would be so happy for a few days, then so depressed and just sleeping all day, which was not allowed so I would try to have my room mate look out for me, when counselors where around campus. I got caught about a week later for not socializing and just sleeping. I got caught many times after that, and it got to the point where my consular would knock on my room door, and just walk in just to make sure I wasn’t sleeping. Beyond annoyed, angry and not knowing what was going on with me, I exploded on my consular, who just kept telling me “I was an addict, that is why I was having these mood changes,” I knew that was completely wrong, and that comes to be proven correct by my amazing doctor. Dr. Matt.

Dr. Matt is unlike any medical doctor today, his unconventional medical training has led him to be the best of the best. He has obtained an undergrad in psychology and became a board certified medical psychology and psychopharmacology. Having him as my primary doctor is nothing short of a blessing and miracle.
It was appointment day, I was so nervous and shaking, I did not know what to expect, I really didn’t know what was going on with me mentally, but I was losing it, I wasn’t me anymore. Dr. Matt and I talked, I told him everything my alcohol use, my traumas, he met my mom and girlfriend. The family is very important when dealing with and recovering from a mental illness. After talking for while he decided to give me a personality test, this took about 90 mins and was about 300 questions long. I was skeptical about this test, what could it tell me that I haven’t already been told. A few days later the results were in Bi-polar type 1. Shocked, Happy, and relieve, I was on the way to getting better, but not before it gets worse, and depression kicks in. The next few months, were dark and strange, only having the energy to sleep, and sleep and sleep. Sleep seemed to be my safe place

The first thirty days of my diagnosis, and on my new medications, an anti- anxiety, depression, and a mood stabilizer, nothing short of crazy. I was not yet in tuned with my body, one manic day, I got the dumb idea to start drinking as I usually do then, All of a sudden  I wanted to go shopping, since I lived five mins from a great outlet mall. This time was different, I got arrested for shop lifting, and even ran from the cops, something I couldn’t ever think of doing today. Waiting for these medications to become built up in my system, was too long to keep me safe. I started to think being Bi-polar was going to lead me to a life of crime, something I was far from use too. As time went on, the medications started to work. My mind became clearer, and my heart didn’t crave as much thrill, positive or negative as it did before. I started to see the benefits of having bipolar, such as having endless creative energy.
To this day I have learned and practiced listening to my body, to know when I have had enough mentally and physically. To know when all I need to do is sleep, to understand when I can not handle being around other people, including my best friends, and parents.

To this day, I am seen by him monthly for medical check up’s and in depth, conversations talk about my moods and over all well being. He has put me in weekly therapy, and monthly trauma therapy. The main reason why I love having Dr. Matt is that he doesn’t believe in just trying all different medication combinations, constantly switching dosages, and so on. He believes in lifestyle changes, a schedule, art therapy and daily exercise.

For those with a mental illness, I can not stress enough how important it is to get help, in any form speak up, this is not something we can be silent about. Going to a weekly Bi polar group has also helped me greatly, it allows me to hear other peoples struggles, and learn from and support them. Take baby steps, face each challenge as it presents itself, and do not let feelings build up.

 

 

Advertisements

Nominated​ For Liebster Award

I am literally speechless when I received the news that I was up for a Liebster Award. It is such an honor to be recognized at such an early stage of BipolarBree1.

Nominated for Best Liebster Award,! Neurodivergenceblog on WordPress. Thank you so much anxiouswriter for believing in my work.
About me 
Q)  What is your favorite book/movie and why?
A) My favorite book is A Beautiful Mind, It just stuck with me, that even with mental illness we are brilliant.
Q) Why do you blog?
A) I started BipolarBree because I felt I had enough experience with trauma, OCD, Anxiety, Addiction  and Bi-polar1 to share with others who are going through almost the same thing. It is never to early to speak up.
Q) What’s your favorite memory?
A) One of the favorite memories I have is when I officially got to keep my puppy Bailey, I have written a post about her, and how she saves my life everyday.
Q)  What are your hobbies?
A) My hobbies include blogging,researching, ariel yoga art especially oil and acrylic painting, and taking care of my little three year old Cocker spaniel.
Q) What’s the goofiest/craziest thing you’ve ever done with a friend?
A) The craziest and gooiest thing iv done with my best friend, there are so many but I have to say it was when my parents were out to dinner, and my girlfriend and I decided to give my older dog a hair cut and bath, mom thought it was all great, but we gave him a mohawk, and than dyed it red. Oh she was mad, but only for a few moments.
Q) What’s your favorite thing about yourself? Least favorite?
A)  My favorite thing about myself is my creative mind, although it can get me into trouble, and the least favorite would have to be my daily anxiety, Medication and intense therapy help, but it is something I will be battling forever.
Q) Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
A)  I am a little bit of both because I have many mood swings due to my bi-polar which brings out the sound, unfiltered and wild  side when I am manic.
Q) What do you regret in life?
 A) I do not have many regrets, I try not to regret anything,one regret is not being with my Girlfriend when she needs me, because I am stuck.
Q) What accomplishment of yours are you the most proud of?
A)  The accomplishment I am most proud of is starting my blog Bipolarbree1.
Q) What’s your goal in life?
A) My life goal,I have many, one is to branch Bipolarbree1 to a mental health help reach out, and pool of information, experiences, and doctoral articles.
Q) Do you have a message you want to tell the world? If yes, what is it?
A)  The message I want to send to the world is that, it is ok if you suffer from Anxiety, OCD, PTSD,
My bloggers
I am so new to blogging, I am just starting to research and become inspired. What inspired me to start a blog, was what I could offer others.
 I nominate
My Questions:
1) What inspired you to write a blog, and on your chosen topics.
2) What is that one post made by you that you like the most, and why?
3) Would you rather explore the deep ocean or outer space?
4) Do you think education, as it is today, does justice to life and learning?
5) For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
6) Give a tip for other bloggers or potential blog starters
7) When you have a writer’s block what do you do to work it out?
8) If you could be any super hero, who would you be and why?
9) What is the scariest thing you have experienced while traveling?
10) Does blogging replace or enhance journalling?
11) If you suffer from Bi-polar1, How do you focus your writing when in a manic state?